IT'S BEEN TOO LONG

I'm truly sorry for not having posted a blog to this page in such a long time... I usually love to write, but have been distracted by circumstances at work, and home. I finally said good bye to a MAJOR PAIN IN MY BEHIND - both at work and at home (he was renting a room in my house, along with his "girlfriend" and their daughter). Good riddance, drama queens - THE LOT OF YOU!

Then business has been steadily consistent for the past months. Which is not bad, but it isn't really all that good either. I mean, I don't mind the stability. But what sucks is that we just can't grow much in the space we have. I have been talking to some people about that. There is a bigger building in a much better location in town for sale. It has a good parking lot, good space, GREAT location, but the issue is the money it will take to purchase the building, and then to remodel it! There is a government guarantee for 80% of the purchase price, so the down payment would be 20%. But then there is the remodeling, and such. This is where the six figures comes into play! Between $150,000 - $250,000 all told. And that is a lot of money.

Now there is someone who is possibly looking to become my partner, which means I would give up some control in the business, and that's okay with me if we can grow! Our sales volume will quadruple or quintuple with this location! I can expand my menu, and we can make the place snazzy! 50's style diner with bright neon lights, huge street visibility with a lit up sign and just plain good food! And the guy who wants to partner with me is just as committed to our success as I am. Everyone comments on the food here with PRAISE! Which is so amazing to me. I feel humbled by the praise. But I am still struggling with the threshold we have reached. We are not to the place where all my needs are being met for the restaurant and my own personal bills. I hope to get to this point before next summer.

The cart business is growing. I originally started parking in front of the high school, but they are addicted to McDonald's for some crazy reason! So instead, we are still taking the cart out, just to local factories for their lunch crowds. It is like, once a week at one factory, once a week at another, etc. This is better, cos they won't get sick of eating hot dogs every day! :-) But then we can also do catering jobs now! Last week, we had a party of 60 people for gyros and Italian beef sandwiches, and we were GOOD! Not only did that party go well, we got our name out there, and we got another party (bigger) out of that booking!

I also looked into advertising at the Comfort Inn down the road. They are the biggest hotel in town, and they are possibly going to list us in their guest directory. This would help our delivery business.

So, all in all, business is steady, but we are optimistic about the future! I have always been a visionary, so I try to imagine where we could be instead of where we have been. I try to picture where we can go instead of where we are right now. And I pray! I pray daily! I pray HOURLY if I can! And I trust that the light at the end of the tunnel is not just a mirage. (and I play the lottery once in a while)

I still, haven't forgotten tehdancingfool. :-/ I still care deeply. I pray for him as well. And I pray for his hardened heart to be softened someday.

Thanks for anyone who cares to read the latest news of my so called LIFE! :-) It's good! And the people in it are for the most part, decent! I miss some, I think about many, I can't stop racing to meet all the obligations of this business (taxes being the biggest, followed by utility bills) and then I try to get here to fill you in on the rest! I do think about writing more... but I have been spending a little more time journal writing with my daily devotional time with God. So, sorry for not getting here sooner.

Have a great day! Come again soon! Tell all your friends! Love ya!

YEAR ONE!

It was a funny movie! But we are actually coming up on the end of our first year!!! It has been a challenge! It has been worth it! I feel a bit more accomplished! We are moving ahead with a new enthusiasm because of our expansion with the trailer! And we are doing all we can to stay for another year!

They say that 85% of all new businesses die within the first year, and 85% of those businesses that succeed the first year, die within the second year. We hope to be one of those 2% that will last for the next 10 years! The economy has taken a bite out of our business, but it hasn't been able to kill us! We are still struggling, we have since we opened. It is still a small town, but we are paying our bills! And as long as we are doing that, it will be no problem as the economy gets progressively better!

I have faith, that is undying. I have a lot of good customers who are very supportive of our efforts, and they love our food! And the encouragement I am getting from my family and friends is amazing!

I haven't blogged a lot recently, sorry all. Been trying to stay busy at work. But I am always on facebook! If you'd like to become a fan, feel free! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dixon-IL/TOAO-NIKOS/107171285988945

I CAN...

There was a song that we used to sing at Sunday School. It was a great message.
I...
I can...
I can do...
I can do all...
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me!

It is great to know that without Him, I can do nothing! But with Him, and by His grace, I CAN do all! It is what gets me through the hard times at work. It is what is getting me through this summer, when business is typically a little slower. It is what makes me KNOW that the $3,000 I need to come up with by the end of the month will be there by the end of the month to pay the tax bills. And I KNOW that He is able to do EXCEEDING, ABUNDANTLY!

I know that all I ask - He gives. I never need anything. Because I know He is there to provide for me!

It is great having this faith. It's like, I'm a child of God! Not just any God, but the God of CREATION, and the God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob. This is the same God who parted the sea for the Israelites to walk across. This is the same God who fed manna and quail to the Israelites when they were wandering in the dessert. This is the same God who tore the temple walls in two! This is the same God who allows the sun to rise and set every day. He knows the hairs on my head, and the seconds I will live. He is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He loves me! And His GRACE is sufficient for me! If all the world crashes around me, I know that I am still His son, and that is sufficient for me! It is the one thing that I am certain of! And it is the one thing that brings me peace in the middle of all the storms in my life. Because at the end of the storm, I know who was there all the time, making sure I would get out of it ALIVE!

I have lived in abject poverty, I slept in horrible places, I had addictions I am in recovery from, I have done things that were so completely ridiculous, I SHOULD BE DEAD! But today, I am more alive than I have ever been. Because I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST!

100th BLOG POST

Wow, I can't believe I made it this far in keeping a journal. I usually give up after a few months, despite my love for writing! This is my 100th BlogSpot post and I am excited to give whoever reads it GREAT news!

First of all, we are coming up to our 4th of July weekend. This is going to be a great week, leading up to the 4th, as our country celebrates Independence Day. We will have our town's carnival/fair across the river at the park. And despite our not being able to attend and participate this year (they "couldn't make room for us"), we will be very busy in the restaurant and on the street, vending! It will hopefully be a fun week of CRAZY SALES AND BUSINESS VOLUME GALORE!

Second, after a lot of waiting, we finally got approved for our contract with the park district to put our food trailer on the park property directly across from the High School beginning next fall! WHAT AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY! We will increase our sales volume by at least $4,000-$6,000 a month! Which is FANTASTIC! Not only will it increase our volume, but it will increase our ability to stay afloat for the next winter season, and beyond! We are also able to take that trailer to outside events or festivals which will also generate some MUCH NEEDED revenues! We will finally be able to show something of a profit! Our first year was, indeed a difficult one, and with a little over 2 months to go before our first year will come to a close, I project a break-even analysis. Which is GOOD for a new business. We need to come up with something extra tho, in order to pay off our outstanding debtors.

I have had to ask mom for help along the way, and it will be nice to be able to go for a while now without asking for any more help. She has always been there, supporting and encouraging me. And without her, I don't think we would be here today.

It has also been wonderful to have all the prayers and support and encouragement from friends and family! God is good! And He PROVIDES for our every need! I've been blessed again, and again. And I don't forget those who have asked God on my behalf for the help He has given. I've tried diligently to keep my head strong even in the darkest times this past year. And at every turn; at every disappointment, I was brought to a wellspring of joy at the end of the trial! Thank you GOD!

Today, is my 100th post on here, and I am happy to say that all those people who I have always thought of through the writing I have done over the past couple years, I still think of DAILY! I never forget those I cared about. So yeah, I will never forget you, and if you need to know how that is, just look inside your heart, and know that I never left. :-)

I am going to wrap this post up. It is coming up on 3:00 am and I need to get some sleep. I've been working 70-80 hours a week for the past couple months, turned over a lot of staff, and am finally finishing up on training with the new people. It was a difficult transition, but MUCH NEEDED! I hope you all have a great time with your summer (winter for those of you on the other end of the world...) and take a dip in the pool for me, I really have NO TIME! :-) Happily following my dreams and hopes! Blessed at every corner! Love you all!

THIS IS A TEST

I've been analyzing my life over the past few months. I've been putting a lot of energy back into a firm foundation I had as a kid with my God. And I've been pretty confident that this is where God wants me to be. I know that my life has been pretty much a roller coaster of life's ups and downs. And at the lowest points, I have always relied on God to pull me out of the circumstances I was facing at any one of those "low" moments. But I am now, at an all time high! I mean, right now, I am facing some financial difficulties, and you would think I was at one of those "low" points, looking at my circumstances. But instead, I see it as a moment - once again, to trust in God for His providence. I see it as a moment to sharpen the steel, or remove the dross in my life. I see it as a defining moment, where out of the depths of this moment that should be devastating, I should be giving up, but instead, I am rejoicing.

I have been in places in my life where being alone, I had nobody to turn to. I had one choice. I have always been the one who had only himself to count on. And in my weakest moments, I turned to God and He brought me through out of what I consider, "pity." Yeah, my God had PITY for me. My God had pity for my circumstances and helped me because I asked. And I was grateful! Don't get me wrong. But now, I have others that I can rely on to help me. My mom has REALLY supported me through this whole trial and business start-up. But more so, I know what God has in store for me. It is more than anything I could face alone. It is more than pity that He is giving me here. It is a test, of sorts, to see if I can really rely on Him instead of others or myself. And on the other side, I know that I will be victorious in my faith, in my reliance on Him for my needs. Even when I am failing, He will never fail. Even when I don't listen to that still, small voice, I am confident that He is there, drawing nearer to me for me to hear Him better! His grace is sufficient for me! His love is never ending! And He wants the best for His children (of which I am one)!

I don't fear the outcome of my life circumstances right now. It is a time for me to meditate, to pray, to be drawn closer to His side, to make sure that I am not doing something that is displeasing to Him, and having been made righteous in His sight, because of what Christ did on the cross, I am able to come to the THRONE ROOM of heaven, right in front of the GOD of eternity, and know that He hears my prayers. I am able to be comforted by His Spirit and I am able to know what I need to do to get through each and every circumstance that is LESS than favorable. Even those most trying times, even those huge failures, even those moments when I am sad, or frustrated, or disgusted with what "life" is throwing at me, I can rest assured that my victory is secure! It's His gold, and it's His silver. He can bring business to me at His pleasure. There are 30 churches in this town! More than half of the people in this town profess a saving faith in Christ as their savior and lord. So if God wants to bless me, HE WILL! And when it does happen, I WILL KNOW - IT IS GOD! And at the moment that I rise, He can knock me down again, to show me that IT IS GOD! :-)

Until the day I die, I want these tests to bring me closer to Him. I want these tests to sharpen me. I want these tests to make me know that I have nothing to do with what is going on in my life! It's all HIM! Grace - undeserved kindness, is all GOD GIVEN! And I trust in God's grace to continue to follow me, all the days of my life!

ASSETS & LIABILITIES

Over the past few weeks, I've turned over the longest holding staff I have had since we opened. First it was one kid who has worked for me and lived far from the restaurant. He drove into town from about 45 minutes away! He found a job closer to home. Then I caught one of my employees giving friends of his a discount on their food (stealing)! So I terminated him on the spot! (I had wondered how my inventory was so low all the time for some time, but never had any indications of who was responsible) And then most recently, one of my employees who was laid off her previous job got a call back and decided to take the job for the insurance benefits. She was a loyalist who told me that she would be here for 7 years (the amount of time I joked with her about how long it would take to pay off my mortgage on the building.

Now I am searching for new employees, all the candidates of which, I have a hard time dealing with as very few of them have any simple math skills to tell me what the change would be given from a $20.00 bill if the amount due was $16.45 and what 1/3 of $3.00 was! How can people be graduating from secondary school with no third grade math skills?

They also don't have foodservice sanitation licenses, which I was hoping to have in SOMEONE who worked at the restaurant so that I can have a legitimate day off! Someone who is a licensed foodservice manager has to be on all the time. And besides going to the store and such, I have to be there every day! Which I don't really have a problem with as such. But this past year, my mom took a spill and broke her leg, so I would have liked to go visit her or something. As I believe I wrote in a previous blog post, I sent two different employees to the sanitation class, and the one who passed the test ended up not working for me any longer, and the other, couldn't pass the test!

So now I am heading into our summer season with no trained employees. I am heading into this new week with one friend of mine, and a new trainee. I am completely screwed. And again, I am frustrated. It has to work. I have no other choices. I need to make it work! I am going to keep praying for help. And knowing that God will provide. I guess the good thing about this loss of employees is that I am able to save some money on payroll, and catch up on working! It is going to suck completely, having to work harder instead of smarter... but I will make it through. This fall we will hopefully have enough to start our food trailer operation at the school and factories. And by next summer, perhaps have some better trained employees who will actually STICK with us, and be loyalists!

Something is wrong with this generation. You have a 15% unemployment rate in this area, and you are still able to steal from your employer, or job hop from one place to the next with no loyalty to your employer. Those employees who leave voluntarily, I have the option of rehiring if I wanted to. But if someone is going to leave me for another job, why would I consider taking them back? They WASTED my time and money to train them so they could go elsewhere. In my darkest moment, we get to the point where we HAVE to catch ourselves so that we don't fall. The economy is poor, but we can struggle through it and end up on the other end of it, with a LOT of great things! I look forward to this moment. When our sales are up, our payroll and expenses are lower, and we are actually making a profit, rather than borrowing money from mom to get through the next month.

IDEALS

I have this movie collection. It is actually less than I once had. I used to have over 1,000 dvd's in binders which I used to bring to the Salvation Army in Massachusetts to have movie day, once a week in the winter. They had a movie day once a week, so they didn't have to go face the harsh weather in the winter, so I brought my laptop and some speakers in for an after lunch movie theater in the cafeteria for them.

Anyways, someone stole my binders one day. And I was out my thousand movie collection. And have since started rebuilding my collection, which isn't nearly as big as it was.

In this collection I have the complete series of the West Wing. It was a portrayal of the President of the United States and the ideals and dreams of the American dreams and leadership roles of those who worked with him in the west wing of the white house. There are moments of victory and moments of defeat. And it shows the undying loyalty of those who wanted to keep fighting for the best of the best for those who they served. They were visionaries. They were dreamers. They were people who had a legacy they wanted to pass on to future generations. And I watch this series non-stop every time I get a bit frustrated with business. I watch this series every time I need to re-educate myself on leadership roles, and I watch this group of people who want to leave a legacy of greatness for future generations.

I learn a lot from those who have led me in the past. I watched my managers at restaurant chains I have worked at and gain something from them. And I try to incorporate those ideas, and I try to incorporate their work into my own. Obviously, when McDonald's started, Ray Kroch (sp.?) didn't have any idea of the multi-billion dollar industry he was about to encounter someday. Even Portillo's hot dog shack didn't recognize the great hot dog seller he would once have. But yet, today, there are no better places with which to get a burger for a buck or a hot dog the "right way!"

And even amongst the giants in the fast-food world, they all had humble beginnings. I am humble now. I am giving my blood, sweat and tears every day and wondering if we will succeed or fail, triumph or defeat, win or lose. And I know that on the other side of this challenge, on the other side of this poor economy, on the other side of this next couple years, we will come out better for just trying!

Michael Jordan (Chicago Bulls) said that he failed 1,000's of times before he started winning. And those 1000's of times we will fail, those 1000's of practices, those 1000's of times we fail will help us to make the right moves to start the winning game. To take the lead, I need to be inspired and motivated. To win, I need to keep my head in the game. To win, I need to focus on the past and bring to the table, those things that make us all winners. I was reading a scripture passage, it was really great, it said something to the effect of "God will be there to give you everything you need! And when you have everything you need, you will be able to give generously of that which you have excess." I look forward to that! I know it is His to give! I know that we will be there!

I look to the West Wing - for the ideals and the motivation to be a visionary. To be a leader of those who work for me. And then I think, who do I look to when I want to learn who I want to be? I wonder what type of person I want to be and I remember the greatest commandment given by Jesus. It was simple, "Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength. And love your neighbor as you love yourself!" And I look to Jesus, as a representative of who I want to be like! He fed thousands at a time. He brought wine to the wedding feast! He gave to all - those things that they needed. And yes, he gave them enough to share with all those who needed it! And that is the type of leader I want to be. I want to be one who relies on God's providence. I want to be a winner. I want to know that I will be taken care of, to exceeding abundance. And it will happen. And I want to love God, and love people.

So I look back at those leaders I have had in my life, and I remember Dave Broome, and Bill Newman, and Bill Giovanetti, and I remember my friends, Mike Gorr, and Brian McLaughlin, and Sam Knottnerrus, and I look at the great love which they had for God and for others, and I want to be like Jesus, as they were like Jesus. I know this is the way. There is no other, in living my life, in conducting my business, and in experiencing complete joy, by living my life - loving. And that is it.

I was listening to a Christian radio show one day, and there was this caller who called in and I think he was all of 15-16 years old. He said, "It's about Jesus, and nothing else!" And those words, are what I want to fill my life with! At the name of Jesus, one day, every knee will bow, and every tongue confess, that He is LORD!

Sometimes, my blog posts are a bit "preachy!" I DON'T CARE! I am not ashamed of who I serve! I am in love with my God who loved me first! And I will share that love story with anyone who will listen!

CRUSH!

Ok, not the orange or varietal of drink, and not the song by David Archuleta which I already blogged about months ago. A couple days ago, I dropped my phone in the bucket of sanitizer water at work. I looked down at the light in the water and my stomach dropped. I knew this was going to be costly. I don't have insurance on my cell phone. In 6 years since I had this provider, I have never carried insurance, because I am not careless with my phone and they are pretty durable. I don't even know what I was doing to just drop it. But there it was. I took it out, tried to dry it off, followed the advice of 6 different people saying to let it sit in rice. But it was not helping my situation at all. The buttons were all fried. So I went back to the US Cellular Store in town and renewed my contract early, and found a touchscreen Motorola Crush phone! It is nice, and easy, and I am still getting used to using it. It isn't super duper flash, but it was only $100. I wasn't about to get a phone without a qwerty keyboard, and the buttons were just as much as the touch screen. I will probably feel the lackluster of this phone will do me for a year and then get bored of it, as usual!

I am slowly getting closer to Tax Season. Every month we pay sales tax to the state, and every month we pay our withholding tax to the Treasury department, but quarterly, we need to file all our paper work and such, and now it is year end tax time, so I am sitting down with my accountant tomorrow for a fun filled few hours of logging all the stupid general ledger info into a balance sheet and walking out with my shirt, if at all possible.

I need this guy to make something happen for my mortgage to work. I hope I can qualify for it. I am nervous as hell about not being able to make it work. But even if it doesn't, I am going forward with my trailer plans for the fall. I am going to do well in July with the festival in town. And if that works, it works. If it doesn't, it doesn't. We'll just have to find a new plan for the next year.

I still want to help out a friend but he still hates me for some I dunno reason why.

If we get somewhat ahead this summer, I will still be able to do what I need to do to help. But I still have mortgage notes, insurance, taxes upon taxes, and the end of the year isn't nearly over. I need to keep working on this business to build it. This town is small but we are getting people coming in from neighboring towns as well! I always said that if everyone in town were to come in once a month, I'd be a millionaire! This town would definitely be in for a treat with a BIGGER "TOAO NIKOS!" And it will happen. Someday.

As I am ready to sell it all and walk away, I will be happy to take a rest for 10 years and just do NOTHING! lol

Perhaps a beach in FIGI!?!?

MATT STOUDT!

Tonight was the benefit for a friend of mine here in town. He was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer, which spread to his brain. He is terminal. He was sent home a week or so ago for his hospice care. He is turning 21 tomorrow. His life has been cut way too short for someone who is so gentile. I feel badly that I couldn't get to know him better. We spent some time at Cathy's at night, playing cards, or chess. Coffee at Cathy's at night is like, pretty much the only thing to do if you don't drink in town.

So tonight we celebrated his life. It was a really awesome benefit. I got to go around and sell raffle tickets for a few hours. I raised about $300 for him, and then they announced the 50/50 raffle winner, and the winner decided to donate the winnings back to the benefit fund. How amazing is that??? I am just back home for the night, looking at my emails and catching up on missed twitter messages.

I'm really looking forward to the "PETUNIA FESTIVAL" this year. I know it sounds cheesy! But it is the town celebration for a week long here in Dixon. There is a bit of a carnival on the park lawn along the river. And hopefully we can set up a food booth selling soda, chips, nachos, hot dogs, polish sausage and NIKOS' t-shirts and hats! Not to mention our first annual HOT DOG EATING CONTEST! All in all, if the weather is cooperative, I think the whole week long event will help us out with some much needed income that we missed out on last summer because of our late start.

I don't doubt that we will make it this summer. I just wish it was faster, coming. I know it is still the last week in March, and summer is just around the corner, I just wish I could speed through spring! Time to take a breath and just enjoy the seasons. I am nervous about the whole mortgage thing. I know I need make that happen this year to take advantage of the whole 10% thing from the government. But whether I will qualify for the mortgage is another thing. So that is my focus and my only prayer right now.

It's a long way away from the goals I have set. So, I need to keep working and keep my head out of the clouds. I was looking this week at another building, and it was really great looking at the possibilities! It had MORE SPACE, MORE PARKING, MORE TRAFFIC, MORE POTENTIAL, and MORE EVERYTHING, but it was about 10 times the amount of the building I am in now, and it would probably be 10 times bigger! But I just am not ready yet. We'll get there, but in time. Little by little, we will get our ducks in a row and be ready for that expansion someday. I can't look beyond this year for now. So that means, summer, fall with the trailer and school season, and winter with the slowest point of the year before next spring rolls around again and we do it all over again! If I can see one trailer this fall and next spring, and the following summer, then we can pay down some of our debt next summer and have an even BETTER 2011!

2010 is our year to hold back the reigns and work in a strict budget. In the next couple years we can let go a little more each year, but this year has got to be disciplined.

Keep me in your prayers for the mortgage. If I need to come up with any significant down payment, I will be really desperate for that to get it done in time for the federal rebate. I don't want to throw away $6,750 in free money! Have a great new week! We are going on week number 31! That is amazing! Thanks for all your well wishes and prayers!

A LITTLE CART!

Long ago, and so far away, I was a wee lad of 10 and there was this guy who pushed his little cart down the street, selling out of it, hot dogs and polish sausages. I followed this guy every day, thinking that all I wanted to do in life was just that! And I hope to be able to do that this year! Well, not walking block to block, and not with a small cart alone, but with a little help from my buyer's rebate for the purchase of my house, I will have enough to have my trailer built to specifications I need to meet the health codes of the county! Not only that, but I will have a place to put it and a market to put it to work for me! I intend on parking it on the green, right in front of the high school, so that at lunch time, the kids can come out, get their dogs and chips and sodas, put some money in my pocket, and good food in their stomachs before they hustle off back to class!

You see, we are less than a mile from the high school, but until now, we had no way of gaining our market share to those 900 kids who attend! They trek across the street to Domino's or to McDonald's or to Subway. But the journey to TOAO NIKOS' is too far to make there and back within the half hour they have for lunch. So we have a great downtown location, just not close enough to make it for that extra lunch boost.

Now, with the wonder of the Park District, and their allowing us to park our trailer in the park adjacent to the school, we can now share in that market! So this coming fall, I hope to have my trailer built! Equipped with a double steam table, a cooler, a chip rack and the Dixon Purple and White decals I plan on loading onto the sides of the trailer, I hope we can make the next winter season a lot easier to deal with, financially speaking. All we need is for it to be just a little easier. I am not asking for a lot! But this little padding through the winter months will really help us grow.

Next fall, we can do the high school, and pick back up in the spring months. Then we can have the summer months in the parks for Junior Tackle or Soccer. Beyond this year, we can begin by getting another food trailer for the new river front property. Perhaps an enclosed trailer with more amenities. Then the building next door, and the remodel! Either that or one of the many buildings on the major street Galena! That would be sweet. A parking lot. A great possibility of even looking into the future prospect of a pool hall with the restaurant attached. All a part of the growing business I want to have! All a part of the beginning dream of the 10 year old kid following the push cart vendor, long ago.

How does this start? The money it is going to take to get the trailer built, will come from my rebate for the first time home buyer program! If I get my mortgage on my house, I will get 10% back from the government for the starting capital for this venture. My prayer is only this, that I get my mortgage approved. Beyond that, I know that Jehovah Jireh! THE LORD PROVIDES! I believe that this is going to work! I believe that God has continually blessed me with each and every day that we have made it through this past 8 months! And now, I know that all this stuff is just going to work!

The Apostle Paul said that, "We know that all things work together for good, to those that love God; to those that are called according to His purposes." Another translation is even better, "Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good."

So I believe! And I know that despite my best efforts, all my blessings come from God! Because if I start relying on myself, I know I will screw it up somehow. I will be discouraged and fail. But by faith, I believe I can do all things from God's strength! And that alone will make this work! Even if it isn't in my time frame, it is going to be in God's!

For all that writing, I hope you all get a sense of where my faith is. It isn't in easy believeism, but rather in work with faith! I know I can't let myself free to let God do something if I am not working to do it myself. But I am doing all I need to do to let God work through me.

I hope everyone out there gets something from that. And now I will go finish the movie I am about to watch, and rest up for tomorrow! It is going to be another busy day! And I need to be ready for it!

Good night all!

JUST A BIT EASIER?

I'm glad I have been able to blog a bit more lately. I love writing when I am in the mood. Over the winter, I just haven't been in any mood to write. It's the winter blahs. I guess it was heightened by the whole, business slowdown. I am really hoping that business will pick up like I expect. I have a lot riding on the success of this business. And I really need to see my sales increase a bit more.

If it was just a bit easier, if I didn't have as many mistakes from employees, or if just some people were less inclined to drive through the golden arches and instead, find some GOOD food at my place, maybe I'd have more of a fighting chance! I really do pray every day. I have to take the time to thank God for all the blessings I have. I also have to just keep in mind that whether or not I am worrying, the bills are still going to come due, and eventually get paid. I am still going to have the same amount to pay for my utilities, mortgage on the restaurant, house rent (until I get the mortgage note on that), taxes, etc. And worry isn't helping it get paid any faster.

I put up $2 a week on a lottery ticket. I have this crazy notion that if God wanted to bless me somehow, I was going to give him a way to do it! So every week, I slap my two bucks down and hope for a miracle. That is what winning the lottery is, right? In the meantime, I have to check my deposits and spending every day, as I write my sales summaries to send off to my accountant for month end tax reporting and such.

And now April is coming up, and end of year taxes will be due. Along with quarterly taxes coming due, I will see how much I will be behind really soon. And then the whole issue of the housing mortgage approval. Will it happen? I don't know. It is my prayer that somehow, a little bird or a whole flock of birds will whisper in some people's ears in this town that my food is better than McDonald's and worth the wait. Fast food can't just be fast and cheap, it has to be good quality, which McDonald's just doesn't compare with me over. When you have a bunch of pimple faced kids working your grill, you can kind of expect that you will get what they grow themselves. Years ago, McDonald's was putting horse meat in their burgers. It was a bit of a fiasco for the food chain, when they got caught. Anything to keep costs low, I guess.

I never want to think like a chain. Even if I ever do expand to open other stores someday, I want people to know that we are a very personable experience at every turn. We aren't just another store number with profit as our only interest. If only it was just a bit easier to get there.

Couple days left for the month. We aren't doing all that hot this month. I hope April shows some improvement. And I hope I get this mortgage for the house. THAT IS MY PRAYER!

"Be still, and know that I am God!" - God

I WON!

I hate traffic cops. I hate their attitudes, I hate their demeanor, I hate their power trips and their egos. I can see why most people have a bad taste in their mouths about these people who are there as public servants who wield their badges and pretend they are "all that," when they are just normal citizens who are there to help people in need. But when you combine that with our criminal justice system, and you give them the license to stop drivers at their whim, it gets a bit more ridiculous.

I got a ticket for not wearing a safety belt a couple months ago, and the cop stated on the citation that when he stopped me I admitted that I wasn't wearing one. I called him a liar, and told him that he misconstrued my statement to him when he stopped me. Within 24 hours of that traffic stop, ANOTHER cop from the same agency pulled me over as I drove out of my driveway, and asked if I was the guy who called his colleague a liar. When I told him I had, he issued me another ticket for some bogus traffic violation!

So then I go to contest the ticket in court, and the Assistant State's Attorney decides he is going to dismiss the ticket for the seat belt violation. This of course, leaves the officers who made the original stop not have to appear for the other case, so I had to subpoena those officers so they would testify that they had, in fact, discussed my case with their colleagues and that was the reason for the second officer's stopping me. It cost me $46 for the subpoenas and I had to drive 40 miles each way to have the county sheriff's office deliver the subpoenas where the police station was. In the meantime, none of the officer's appeared in court on the trial date and the second was dismissed for the fact that there was no witness against me. Now I feel a bit vindicated. I don't have a stain on my driving record. But it was inconvenient for me. The judge said he couldn't award me with the compensation for the cost of the subpoenas AND he agreed with me it was ridiculous that they could bring a charge, and I could be inconvenienced, and I could not recover that cost. But such is life.

At least I am done with that idiocy. Cops are corrupt. I live in a small town, and instead of patrolling the state highways, or helping people as they are hired to, State troopers in Illinois are stopping people for their own ego-maniacal chances of strutting their stuff, with their large brimmed brown hats and their puffed up heads.

This one didn't go on my record. I have not had any moving violations in over 10 years, and now I don't have to pay any higher insurance premiums due to their idiotic show.

I fought the law, and I WON!

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!

It is a beautiful, sunny, warm day in Dixon, IL today! It is March 17th, 2010. It is one year, two months and 18 days since I met the one person who means the most to me in the world and he is 10,000 miles away, without an ounce of thought on his mind about me.

I still think about him. I still wonder if he ever thinks about what he did to hurt me. I still wonder if I will ever meet him someday and have a coffee, like we talked about. I still wonder why I fell so hard, and so fast, but I don't regret a thing about it. It just happened. I just did. And I'm glad I did.

I still think he is an amazing person, and I hope someday he sees the same in me. If he never does, I'll still care. I'll still be here, wondering. I will breathe the same air as I have all this time. I will still work at the restaurant day in, and day out. I will still work on this house, which I have now begun to refer to as "the money pit." I will still pray every day for another day. And I will still keep on keeping on.

I do, love him. I know it's weird, not knowing someone, but there is just something so special about this guy. He is a complete piece of work right now, but someday he is going to be beyond that idiocy. I hope he will. And I hope someday, our paths will cross, so that he can take a closer look at one person who will be here... loving him... despite himself.

Have a Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody! Eat a potato! (in Greek, that statement is really funny! "Fie mia patata")

DRIVING

I think I drove 300 miles today! I started at work this morning, then drove to Morrison, which is about 30-40 miles one way, then back and then to Rockford, which is another 40 or so miles the other way. Then on my way back, I got lost, took a wrong turn and ended up going about another 50 or so miles out of my way. It was, indeed, a fun drive. And I'm not just being sarcastic. I enjoyed the time away from this small town. Driving through the other towns in Illinois, and seeing all the fields and such, along with farms and factories; old farm houses that look abandoned, others which look well ready for the spring crops. And in another 4 months, they will be sky high with corn and soybean crops. But the thing that gets me is the people. While Rockford is pretty much the biggest city within 100 miles, you can see all these little towns across the state where nobody has a neighbor for miles! Even in the small towns, you can still count how many houses are around with pennies of a dollar! So, me coming from a big city like Chicago, I get the sense that I am still pretty much alone in this small town.

Business has been steadily growing. The weather has been a bit rainy, but there were some days of complete sunshine! And it is going to get up to 60 (F) by this weekend! So it appears that spring has sprung. I have some menus to get out there for the March and April specials. And we have kids coming around on Saturdays to do that. My sales still aren't quite as good as I hope for but I anticipate a good summer, nonetheless.

Now for forward thinking: New Zealand - someday, still. I hope to get far enough this year that I will have enough to take the trip come next February. It will be the tail end of summer down there. So my winter will be filled with sunshine in the middle of the dead of winter. I don't know for sure, because I still don't know how the summer is going to measure up... It is still my first summer, after all. But that is the hope for now. I am also hoping for a good cart season this fall! That is also dependent on the whole house thing, and whether I can get the mortgage for it in time.

Damn, I just printed a thousand menus and I already need more toner cartridges? I need to start stocking up on those. Color menus are really classy. I like that I have not skimped on quality. Even though I have a small place, it is big on taste, character, and style.

I guess I should wrap up this post for now. I have to get some sleep, and I have a bit of a long day tomorrow. Humpday is not my best day of the week, but it can make or break us for the week.

Hope all is well with you. Whoever reads this. Love you all for all your prayers and well wishes.

HALF A YEAR!

It's been a bumpy ride, and we are reaching the 26 week mark of being open. I can't believe we have made it through this winter. It was really harsh. It still gets cold, it is the middle of February still, and we have another month to go before the spring really hits. I have seen my sales drop from like near $20,000 to a little over half that a month. And I am only hoping that we get back to the $20's. Only because we opened in late August and our first full month was September. It was so close to $20,000 that month, and if we can do between $20-25,000 per month for the summer months, we will have a better chance of enduring the winter next year.

I am working on my contract on buying the house. That should hopefully be done by mid April. And we will hopefully be closing before mid June. That should get me my rebate check from the Government for the 10% stimulus package the President put out last year. And that money will go for my food trailer to park in the park across from the high school for lunches! That will totally make my winter soar! We will have an extra $2,000 a week from September - November and March - June! And then next summer, we can get going on a second trailer for the football and soccer games in the park or the riverfront property.

No word on expanding our current location yet. We have a lot to do to make it to that point. Financially, I have a lot of debt from the business mortgage, the equipment loan, my mom, and my property in West Texas. Not to mention the whole student loan thing, and just a bunch of other bills. Now I will have the house mortgage, and upkeep on that, plus all the property taxes every year. I can't anticipate doing any more property acquisitions for another couple years when I can pay down some of the debt I already have. The good news is, instead of paying the $500 a month rent on this house, I will be paying down it's mortgage and building equity in it. Not to mention, the economy is slowly getting better, which means the house will appreciate in value over the next couple years. By the time I put a new roof on it, and redo all the trim in the house, and perhaps remodel the upstairs a bit, I am expecting a 200% ROI for the house (ROI=Return on Investment).

This week hasn't been so bad. We have actually had a pretty seasonal week, no nasty weather, despite being a bit colder at night, and occasional snow flurry, we aren't doing badly. End of month is always difficult for me because I have to come up with the next month's rent by the first. But it all comes together in the end. That's the good thing about having faith. It all just seems to work out in the end. And it has taught me how to be very disciplined in my money management.

I've grown a lot over the past 6 months. But I haven't lost sight of all the goals I started with. And they are actually working out. This month has been a bit weird, as my car is becoming a bit of a nuisance as I now need a new battery, and a new tire for one that I replaced on my car. Fortunately I had a spare in the trunk, unfortunately, it hadn't been used in all the time I had the car so it was out of air. Fortunately, it was not leaking, and quite fortunately, it was not a monkey spare. So I have been putting that off a bit, before I had to replace it. And then there was the whole stupid seat belt ticket I got from the state trooper. The dork was an idiot and wrote on the ticket that I admitted to being guilty of not wearing my seat belt and so I called him a liar. Then the next day, I pull out of my driveway, and I get pulled over by ANOTHER state trooper, and he gives me another ticket, and asks me if I was the guy who called his friend a liar! What a bunch of crap! Now I am going to court in March over both tickets. Fighting both of them, of course.

So mom just told me that next week we will be in the 40's. And that will be all good! Snow will melt! And maybe we will pick up business a bit. I need to get up to about 85% - 90% of average. Then if we can get up to 130% by summer, we will be SET! It was really cool, these ladies came in today for lunch, and they prayed before they ate, and they prayed that our business would succeed! That was so cool. I'm not the only one praying for that now.

I should be off for now. It has been a long day, and tomorrow is payday. Saturday we have a team meeting, and I want to get some stuff done tomorrow if I can. I wake up sometimes too late to do all I want to do during the day, so tomorrow I am hoping to wake up at like 7 am. Goodnight! And thanks for all your prayers this winter, Jehovah Jireh!

HIBERNATION

It's been a good month of slow business. Probably a bit more. We have had our worst month yet, and I was completely at my wits end until talking to my family. They will help me out with taxes this month. Come March and April we will be back on track for a healthy summer. Plus we are getting new business from the surrounding towns. I just need to keep focused on the present. And keep my head above water until then. I am used to living in Chicago where inclement weather doesn't hinder business volume, but rather helps it! People shop and eat when it is bad weather. Here they hibernate more than anything! It is a rural community I guess. But it is picking up since the snow has melted and rain has started coming down. So I am happy about that.

The numbers need to pick up so that I can afford my house down payment tho. It will be about $7,000 come June. Plus the food cart, I have an appointment with the Park District this coming Monday. So that should be a good revenue creator. I hope you all will stay tuned for the upcoming exciting news this summer. It has been slow and coming but it will be better. Faith has brought me this far, and faith will lead me home.

I also wanted to wish someone good fortune on his new journey to Sydney, Australia to study dance with the very prestigious Urban Dance Center. I hope finances will go well for you as well in procuring enough in donations and grants so that your parents are not hit hard by the tuition and board to the school. Best of luck to you and good fortune in the land down under!

Also, a bunch of best wishes to another friend who will be presenting on television in Ireland on RTE for a youth show. Congratulations on your continued success! And great blessings for a bright future in whatever your path takes you to!

Until next time, have a great couple weeks. I hope to blog soon, but I have to deal with year end taxes and putting it all together with the accountant. So I'll see you soon.

WE NEED BUSINESS!

I have seriously never underestimated the value of business volume until now. I am slowly feeling the water cover my nostrils as I am trying to keep my head above water. Today, was not the best day, and this week hasn't been the best week. Mom says she will help me get through this winter period, but I am like, close to death as it is.

I am just dreading the $3,200 in bills this month, with our sales the way they are, and our food and payroll is rising because our sales are diminishing, and then there are about $3,000 in taxes due this month. Not to mention next month being a shorter month (28 days) with about $3,200 in bills again. Now, mind you, that $3,200 includes my rent, gas, electric at the house, but they are all incorporated in me operating this business so, they all add up every month.

My hardest months are here and now. And I am slowly feeling anxious about the spring. The Quizno's right behind me is way behind in paying their food distributors and they may be closing soon. This is not something I am happy about, I don't delight in their misfortune so that I can gain, but at the same time, I know that this time next year, I will be better prepared (hopefully) with a good summer.

I do keep that Psalm in my heart, and pray it constantly, "Be still, and know that I am God!" And I know that we are going to pass this hill. It just really is an anxious time. Thank you, God, for Xanax!

Love you all. Pray for our business volume to increase!