VFR - FLYING IN CLEAR SKIES

I guess this isn't something that a lot of people understand. The VFR stands for visual flight rules. It is what beginning pilots have to fly in. In other words, you gotta be able to see where you are going in order to fly. You have to fly below the clouds, and you have to have clear skies to fly in your path. You can't get in the clouds if you are not as familiar with instruments yet. So you are learning the basics. I always wanted to learn to fly. I still do. I don't have a hundred thousand dollars for all the flight training you need to fly private jets (which is what I want to fly). And the biggest problem for me is the fact that I have a slight color deficiency. So in order to pass a flight physical, I have to be able to show enough sufficiency in color differentiation. It sucks, because it is just a slight deficiency, and I can still see green and red flashing beacon lights on a plane coming at me. Eh. It takes a lot to commit to flying. But everyone needs to fly in clear skies.

I was talking before about flying in the clouds. When you are so lost if you don't know how to read your instruments. You could run into clouds, or other planes in the sky that you just can't see. Well, experienced pilots can fly through the clouds because they know the terrain, they know their instruments, and they pretty much know exactly how to handle it.

I was really in the clouds in my life. For a few weeks I was dealing with something that totally got me. I mean, I was so happy that I didn't realize that I was making myself (and those around me) miserable. It was horrible, what I did. I mean, I didn't do it to cause people pain. But in the middle of it, I couldn't see what I was doing so wrong. I just thought I was doing what my heart led me to do. And part of me was right. Part though, was just so in the clouds. I was so lost that I couldn't see what I was doing. And here is me, this cocky new pilot, who thinks he knows his instruments well enough that he doesn't realize that his plane is not equipped with any radar equipment to detect oncoming traffic in the clouds. And being the cocky pilot I was, I collided with another aircraft (person) in mid air. My plane (heart) went up in flames, and came crashing to the ground. I felt this weak feeling for a few days. And then I came back to the crash and looked around. I saw the wreck, and considered myself lucky for coming out alive. But I don't know how my wreck affected the other people in the other plane. And I didn't see all the mistakes I made until I looked back and saw the wreckage. I felt bad for all the damage I caused, but I couldn't apologize to the people who I crashed into. They were nowhere to be found.

I imagine, years down the line... perhaps running into one of the survivors of that crash, to apologize. To cry, and to beg forgiveness. I pray that someday, they can see all the ways I tried to make the flight go well. And that it wasn't my intention to crash. I pray that some day, the pieces will tell me and them that when you follow your heart, you may not always be flying in the clear skies, and you don't always know everything. You aren't experienced enough to get through, without listening to other pilots around who have more experience and can guide you through those clouds.

I'm sorry R., B. I don't expect your forgiveness. I don't even know if you are reading this blog. I haven't written in it for a few days. But I hope you are keeping up with it. I hope that my friendship meant more to you than just the bad you may remember, or the flight plan I took. I hope you can understand why I took the path I did, and forgive me for not taking it slower. If only's don't really do much good when you are looking back. I took chances that I shouldn't have. And I hurt myself, and the people who I cared about. You mean a lot to me. And I recognize that I am not on the same level as you. I am supposed to be flying in clear skies, under VFR conditions. I should have listened to more experienced pilots when they told me to fly under the clouds. And you are probably instrument ready. I hope I can catch up to your level some day. I still hope I can find a way to get those tickets to you.

If this blog makes no sense to you, its okay. It was really meant for someone else. But if you are reading this, and it does make sense, its because you are reading it right.


Thanks.